Apparently Not a Joke

I actually joined Tumblr. No, I'm dead serious; I fucking went and made another blog. Oh well, that is kinda my thing; hopping from one host to the next like an internet parasite of some sort. Well, at least I'll be kind of obligated to be active there and may very well post some of my opinions in a non-rant format. So, here it is: Sideburn Alley. If there's anyone that's keeping up with this thing, chances are it won't see much activity unless I repost something from my new blog; so if you're reading this, I'll most likely be hanging out there for the foreseeable future.

Monthly Segment?

What monthly segment? I don't recall saying anyth-oh right, I did, didn't I? Oh well, I don't have to make excuses, it's not like I'm obligated to post on this thing. But, since I'm such a nice guy, I'll make a half assed attempt at one: life happened, I forgot, I was abducted by Zorthians and became the ruler of their planet, the best they ever had until I fudged it and inadvertently caused a war with their neighbors; the Melnaxians. Or, I just haven't been in a blogging mood. I still hate humanity and all that, but it's for the same reasons I always have and everything I go on a tangent about has already been said by others who are more eloquent, or know more about the source material or who/what is involved and how it affects them/it. So yeah, I think it's about time to admit I've reached a dead end with this thing. Oh well, I stopped giving a shit quite a while ago, anyways. So, I think that's it for this dark little corner of the internet full of crap and not much else. I'll probably still be posting at my RPG Maker Projects blog whenever I actually make progress on one of the umpteen projects I've got sitting in limbo. I may find a use for this hunk of crap, too, but that remains to be seen. So until then, ciao.




Watch as I go make a Tumblr and maybe post once before leaving it for dead. Oh great, now I'm actually contemplating making one, fuck me.

So...

I feel like do something with this thing other than making random posts on whatever is on my mind or outright bitching about my life. I'm going to start a regular segment: Why I Hate Humanity. It's going to be a monthly list of things that make me see humanity as a failed experiment; the type of thing that makes me a pessimistic asshole who thinks the worst of the species he's a part off. I'm looking to make this a monthly thing and I'll most likely limit it to shit I read online. The items listed will be in no specific order and the number could vary depending on how much stupidity I find online and feel like including. So, without further ado; let's get started!


Why I Hate Humanity

-Star Wars: The Old Republic has a pay to be gay planet.
Apparently, being homosexual in a Star Wars MMO is frowned upon and those who want to have to pay actual money to be allowed to. Apparently, someone forgot that they made games with a fleshed out romance system that made a hell of a lot of people happy. Now they're trying to fix it by half assing it in SWTOR. The comments against including this in the game are hilarious, too. Especially when you consider that for (most) of the first three movies the hero was trying to get into his sister's pants. Apparently, these people who think being gay in the Star Wars universe are cool with incest. Oh, I don't play the game and never will; mainly because my PC probably couldn't handle it, I'm not a fan of Star Wars and this dick move on EA and Bioware's part will keep me from ever touching it.

-Having a legitimate complaint about something makes you a troll.
Anyone who has a legitimate complaint about a video game/movie/comic/television show on a forum centered around one of those things will most likely be branded a troll. If you don't like *insert video game/movie/comic/television show* for being mediocre, not living up to the expectations of the franchise or series, then you're a hateful troll, apparently. No matter what your complaints are, you aren't entitled to have them because according to internet, they are wrong. It's hilarious how in this age of communication people on the internet are so close minded.

-The Friend Zone
Sex is not a reward for being a good friend or treating someone like a human being. If you think you're in the friend zone because the person you think you were friend zoned by drops a hint or two but doesn't outright admit to liking you, you're not. You have either encountered a person who is jackass that likes stringing people along; a real life troll; or you are oblivious to the fact that maybe they have a crush on you too. Grow a spine and make a move; ask them out. If they give you the friend line, then you're not going to get anywhere or they're just as nervous as you and need time to think. Until then, be a friend but don't expect to be rewarded with sex for doing so. If they come to the conclusion that they just want to be friends, don't act like an ass and have a meltdown about how you deserve a reward for being a friend. If you do, you're not a real friend.

Dear Insurance Company I looked into...

FUCK. YOU.

When someone considers signing up with you and fills out the forms after deciding to go ahead and do it, checking the "do not contact me by email" box on the fucking form; that means they do not want their email tied to your damned company. That does not mean they want you to hand their email address off to various mailing lists for other insurance companies or retarded ass dating sites. That means they do not want umpteen fucking emails about auto insurance and various other bullshit. What use would I have for a damned christian dating site? When I call four damned times and you say you'll take care of it, I call bullshit. You shouldn't have fucking done it in the first place, you shit eating assholes. I do not appreciate my inbox being flooded with stupid shit I have no interest in. I do not appreciate having to select the option to block email from anyone who isn't on my contact list just because you are assholes who sell off peoples email addresses to other companies.

Sometimes...

I regret being an internet hermit. There are so many awesome people I've communicated with online; people I think are fucking awesome/hilarious/deep/brave, etc. People I actually don't mind chatting with; hell, people I enjoy chatting with. I may not say it, but I think these people are great and are some of the people that make the internet great. Yet, I don't stay in touch and really only communicate with them when an old forum we all used to frequent gets a breath of life once every year or so, when a new one is born from the ashes of said old forum, or when I actually stop being a dick and get on MSN. I honestly think that there are more sightings of the Loch Ness Monster then there are instances of me actually making an effort to communicate with people online. Sure, I've been posting on Gamefaqs, but not because I actually want to communicate with people; I've pretty much just been arguing over stupid shit with no intentions of maintaining any sort of conversation that doesn't involve a quick, impersonal reply or calling someone stupid. Yeah, yeah, I'm an angry person who likes to yell at people, that's not really news.

Still, I regret not staying in touch with people I don't hate. I feel like an asshole and start getting down on myself a bit because I'm such a douche for refusing to make an effort; instead opting to lurk on Youtube, various blogs I happen upon and random forums. I've tried altering my personality in the past when I was active on certain forums, becoming a yes man, posting stupid/funny pictures and letting my anger towards various things dictate when, what, and how I posted. Sure, I attempted to carry on normal conversations, but not completely as myself; the (mostly) unfunny guy who's kinda serious, doesn't get jokes most of the time with an ego the size of the moon(though I may have become a bit more humble; possibly). Of course, other people probably saw through my attempts at slightly altering my personality and had me figured out before I actually did.

The funny thing is, I enjoyed being active when I wasn't completely being myself, even if some part of me hated it. Ever since I just stopped giving a shit about making an effort, I've been unable to bring myself to communicate with people I don't hate online on a semi-regular basis. I'm an unfunny, serious, slightly egotistical pessimist and because of that, I don't think I'd be someone's go-to guy for hanging out online or having a semi-serious; let alone serious discussion. I know that's not true; for the most part, but in the back of my head, there's this nagging voice that's cropped up in the last few years that says "nobody wants to hear you bitch about your life or why you hate humanity this week". That voice won't go away either. I'll post my opinions about something and that voice will berate me for being an idiot and posting.



Man, I can be such a downer. Pretty much any blog or personal website I've maintained was full of "woe is me, my life sucks/the universe hates me" posts. Jeez, I really need to lighten up, huh? Not to much though, I don't want to lose that pessimistic outlook that let's me bitch about things on the internet...like everyone else. Heh, gotta be able to laugh at yourself, right?

Huh...

Another post having something to do with politics? Why not? Now, it's not going be eloquent and it may come off as something an average joe with a very basic understanding of the subject would say; but I did mention I wasn't exactly in the know about politics.


First off, I'm glad Obama was re-elected. I'm not going to pretend that I know what I'm talking about, but from what I've heard, it's the best possible outcome. First off, all those campaign ads mentioning Romney having multiple offshore and foreign accounts did not sit right with me. The man comes from money and has absolutely no right preaching about how he's going to fix the economy; among other things he promised. His plans to abolish Medicare really raised the warning flags...all of them, in fact. I know people on Medicaid and Medicare, they can't afford the healthcare and medicine they need without it. Nearly all of the ads against Obama have something to do with Obamacare; it's rare that I've seen in ad in the past two months that wasn't "Obamcare Bad".

Sure, Obama's plans seem to be moving at a snail's pace, but to be fair, he does have to clean up the mess made by the moron who held the position of president for eight years before him. That can't be easy, but three years into his first term, he did something that the moron said he was going to do for eight years, but never did.

Then there's this: http://www.examiner.com/article/mitt-romney-cuts-off-campaign-workers-credit-cards-leaves-workers-stranded

This is what a sore loser is. He lost the race and got pissy and most of the people who worked on his campaign were left high and dry because of it. These people took the time and made the effort for his campaign and he has the nerve to do this. He is a rich bastard, but he can't afford to at least allow his campaign workers to pay for a cab/bus ticket/plane ticket home; he has to pull the plug and leave some poor shmuck from Montana stranded in New York, where he was campaigning for him? That stupid douche probably realized that this would happen and probably got a chuckle out of it when he cut the funding on thousands of peoples credit cards.


I'll say it again; I'm glad Obama was re-elected. I seriously would have packed my bags and left the country if Romney won. Now, I'm not saying that a Republican president is a bad thing, but so far, I prefer the Democrat side of things; there's a smaller chance of people being royally screwed by them, though I suppose it varies depending on the person and not the party, too.

Well...

Fuck Republicans.



Wait, wait, before I get any hate thrown at me, let me elaborate.

I don't keep up with politics, I think they are a cluster fuck of stupidity. I would rather remain oblivious and just hope shit doesn't get screwed up too bad when someone new gets a seat of power. But lately, everywhere I go on the internet, I see the most fucked up bullshit since I read about some woman snapping a photo of a person injured and dying on the street wither phone and not fucking calling an ambulance; in this fucking country that everyone says is so damned great. Anyway, I'm reading some real ridiculous shit about republicans; apparently senate candidates, senate members and presidential candidates don't think rape is all that severe, and that there are varying degrees of severity. They think a pregnancy that is the result of a rape is a gift from god. They think for some women it's an inevitably and should be accepted, they are against abortion unless it's a "forcible rape" as classified by them. Some mouth breathing piece of filth from twenty years back even said something along the lines of "it's inevitable, so relax and enjoy it".

Every rape is forcible and these people are the biggest fucking morons in existence. They should be lined up and violated with a railroad spike wrapped in barbed wire and coated in rubbing alcohol. Then they shouldn't be able to file charges because it was a "Justifiable Rape", which is a term I'm sure one of these abhorrent pieces of shit will come up with eventually.

Usually, when I tell people I hate humanity, they ask why. This one of the reasons; wastes of space like this are authority figures. Seriously, why the fuck are these people allowed to speak? Oh, Romney endorsed one of those fucktards, too, just FYI. I feel sorry for the Republicans out their that aren't deplorable fucksacks of idiocy, I really do. My condolences to those of you who are lumped in with these jackholes.



Oh yeah, I'm not dead.















Geez this world fucking sucks, I want a do-over.